Without Her
by melancholy starlight
Summary: A tragic accident results in major loss for the Crystal Gems. How do they cope? Will they be able to move on? T Rating due to character death in Ch 1 and swearing in Ch 5. Cover art by me :) Super-duper-ultra-special thanks to Xx-The-all-seeing-eye-xX for helping me out :D There was going to be an epilogue, but it probably wont happen.
1. Broken

**Author's Note**

 **I'm not dead! I have been busy writing, but haven't posted any of it.**

 **I can't believe I've been gone this long—long enough to get immersed in a whole other fandom. For months.**

 **This is actually my most recent Steven Universe story, but if I remember correctly, this is the first one I've posted, so... yeah.**

 **Warning: Hopefully you didn't need your heart, because it's going to get shattered.**

 **Without Her**

 **By Pikminsanity**

 **Steven Universe fanfic**

 **A tragic accident results in loss for the Crystal Gems. How do they cope? Will they be able to move on?**

It was undeniable. There was a deep gash across her gem, impossible to ignore. It would spread, separating and ultimately destroying her Gem. Pearl wouldn't make it.

"Steven, I'm sorry," she whispered when the young hybrid first found out what happened. "I won't make it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." she repeated, her voice becoming shaky with tears.

Steven ran toward her and embraced her in one final goodbye hug. "It's okay, I'll hold onto you..." It would be nice, Steven thought, if he could still activate his healing powers. But he couldn't. And now he was here, saying his last goodbyes to one of his closest friends.

Amethyst, Garnet, and Peridot appeared behind them, at a distance. Each was visibly upset.

A silence fell over the Gems. It was Amethyst who broke it, finally bursting into tears and dashing forward to embrace Pearl and Steven. Peridot and Garnet slowly joined them, the five Crystal Gems united for one last moment.

"Don't forget me..." Pearl murmured. "Don't stop fighting. Don't give up, don't give in to Homeworld's wishes. Don't forget... why you are... a Crystal Gem."

As she uttered these final words, a shard fell from her forehead, indicating that she had been shattered, and as her physical form faded away for the last time, she looked up at Steven and offered a small smile.

The Gems were stunned. She was gone. She wasn't coming back.

Something landed onto the floor in front of them. Steven picked it up. It was a letter, folded in quarters and slightly torn at the edges. On the outside, it read: _To the Crystal Gems._

"She left us a note," Steven said, unfolding the paper to read what lay inside.

 _To my fellow Crystal Gems,_

 _If you are reading this, I must have been shattered._

 _I wrote this message in the hopes that you would find it after I was broken. I intend to store it in my gem and bring it with me in case I do end up shattered. The longer I have to hold on to it, means I have lived longer._

 _There are some things I may or may not have gotten the chance to tell you before I... you know._

 _Don't forget me. I hope I can still be of use as you try to figure out how to revive shattered gems._

 _Please don't give up on your team. All of you. I couldn't imagine what would happen if Homeworld were able to take over Earth._

 _Don't forget why you are a Crystal Gem. Our main goal is to protect Earth from harm caused by Gems. We have all gone against Homeworld in order to do just that._

 _To Steven_

 _I am extremely proud of how far you've come. You are a valuable member of the team and an incredible Gem. Never forget that you are needed, you are loved._

Teary-eyed and speechless, Steven read and reread his paragraph. He would never, ever forget this message. He promised himself.

 _To Amethyst_

 _I'm sorry. I'm sorry for every time I ever made you feel like a mistake. I value you as a teammate and as a friend. You are extremely important to me and always will be. I'm sorry I never say that as often as I should. Please continue to fight and be strong and contribute to the team, as you always have. I'm proud of you._

Amethyst, at first, couldn't believe her eyes. "I'm sorry too!" she wailed, wishing she could have had the time to tell Pearl that face-to-face.

 _To Garnet_

 _Thank you, for every time you reminded me of who I am. Sometimes, I feel weak, worthless, but you have reminded me of what I contribute to the team. Thank you._

Garnet recalled a couple of occasions Pearl could be referring to, but the most prominent one was the Sardonyx incident. Garnet remembered several times when Pearl had felt useless, and being concerned that she might do something to herself, things she didn't want to imagine. She was glad that had not happened. She was glad Pearl had continued to fight and be strong.

There was another paragraph, scribbled in less neatly, and in a different color of pen. It must have been added in later than the rest of the letter.

 _To Peridot_

 _I'm proud of you for standing up against Yellow Diamond. You are a valuable and important addition to the Crystal Gems. I know we may have disagreed in the past but I have forgiven you, and I hope that you will do the same for me._

"I do, I do!" Peridot sobbed. "I'm sorry... And thank you..." Peridot couldn't describe what she felt towards Pearl. She still had a lot to learn. She wished, though, that she had had more time to bond with Pearl. She wouldn't admit it, never, but she quite appreciated this Pearl.

As Steven, standing in the middle of the Gems, finished reading the message, his voice quiet and trembling and sobbing, he hugged the paper to his chest and let himself fall down onto his knees. He couldn't believe, refused to believe that this was happening, that she was gone for good.

Author's Note

 **Next update will possibly take a while, possibly not. Hard to tell as of yet.**


	2. Steven

**AN: Sorry for the error last time I uploaded this. Also sorry for not replacing it sooner.**

Without Her: Chapter 2

The first few days after the Crystal Gems' tragedy, Steven isolated himself from others. He spent a lot of time in his room, sometimes even skipping a meal.

No one really knew what he was doing in there. They hadn't gone upstairs to find out; they'd decided to give him space and time.

Besides, they all were grieving, too.

Steven lay in his bed, late one morning, thinking about the message Pearl had left for him, and him specifically, in that letter. He had left her note on his bedside table, where he would see it often. He turned towards said table now and reached for the folded sheet of paper to reread that message for the seventieth time. He had nearly memorized it at this point. He could almost hear Pearl's soft voice in his head, murmuring these words into his ear.

But tears came to his eyes as they had every time before, upon the realization that he would never hear that gentle voice again in his waking life.

Only in his imagination and dreams could he ever again hear her laugh, hear her sing, see her dance.

He didn't want to have to live with that. He wanted Pearl back. It wasn't like the time she got poofed. Then, they had all known she would return in time. A long time, sure, but she would come back.

This time, she wouldn't—no, she couldn't come back. Steven had carefully bubbled her shards and placed the bubble next to one of his mother's, within Lion's mane. (He had seen that other bubble before, but had never known whose gem it contained.)

Once, he remembered being able to get to Pearl's room in the temple from other rooms, such as Amethyst's. He tried it again the way he had that one time and found himself in Pearl's room again, silent and empty. Once he did that, he found himself going there a lot.

He just couldn't get used to the fact that Pearl, who had essentially acted as his mother figure, was gone now, never to return.

He wondered where she was now. Her shards, or course, were in his bubble. But where was she? Where did Gems go when they died? Was his mom there? Would he go there, too, someday? He hoped he would. Maybe not soon, but when the time came, he hoped that he might be reunited with Pearl.

He opened a drawer and found a notebook that seemed to never have been touched. When did I buy that?

He didn't know, but he knew what he wanted to do with it. He grabbed a pencil and went to sit at the table, flipping the notebook open to the first page and writing across the middle in large handwriting:

LETTERS TO PEARL

(from Steven)

On the second page, he wrote the date and began his first entry.

Dear Pearl,

It's only been six days. I can't let myself believe it that you're not coming back. I miss you. We all miss you, too much more than we can handle.

That was all he could bring himself to write before he broke into tears again.

 **AN: little bit short but yeah basically the next couple chapters will be the reactions of other people: Amethyst, Garnet, Peridot, and Connie. And that will probably be it, actually.**

 **KEEP SENDING ME REVIEWS AND FOLLOWS AND FAVORITES! THAT KEEPS ME GOING :D! ^-^**


	3. Strong in the real way

Steven returned to his notebook a couple of days later. An idea had struck him one afternoon and he wanted to write it down before the thought escaped his mind.

He opened up to the page he had started a few days ago and wrote that day's date on the next line.

Pearl-

Today I was thinking about that time I tried to start a gym so that Dad, Lars, Sadie and I could get strong. I remember being inspired by Sugilite's power.

Do you remember the song we sang that day? I've kind of written... I don't exactly want to say a parody, but that's pretty much what it is. Here goes...

 _You have shown me how to be strong_

 _In the real way_

 _And now I know we need to be strong_

 _In the real way_

 _Please know you've inspired me_

 _You've come to be my rock, and when you talked_

 _It lit a fire in me..._

 **AN: I get the most depressing song parody ideas just going around my regular day. Not because of anything in particular aside form I have tendencies to think about fandoms, and fanfics I'm behind on, and I also write lots of sad stories.**

 **I'm concerned how easily I give myself the feels.**

 **Anyway, I know it's extremely short, but I feel like it would be best as its own chapter rather than tacked onto the beginning of the next one, or the end of the previous one.**

 **~Pikminsanity**


	4. Amethyst

Amethyst wasn't sure how she felt. She was hardly sure of anything anymore.

She remembered all the times she'd gotten mad at Pearl, all the times Pearl made her feel bad about herself. Amethyst had been tired of all that, she wanted it to stop.

This, however, was not what Amethyst meant.

Sure, she and Pearl didn't always get along. But Amethyst still valued Pearl as a teammate, as a friend, and maybe even as something more. Amethyst was in no way happy now that Pearl was gone.

She found herself talking to Peridot a lot more. The two would spend hours in Amethyst's room, quietly talking to each other... sometimes crying... Sometimes even singing. Amethyst realized how much she missed Pearl's voice. She never said so, but she really liked it when Pearl sang. She enjoyed the flowing melodies, the passionate lyrics Pearl came up with.

She tried to write something for Pearl. A song. Maybe it was her way of coping. Maybe apologizing to Pearl, feeling that it was her fault Pearl's gem got hit.

Either way, Amethyst wasn't happy with what she came up with. Maybe she'd ask Steven for help later, since he was the better songwriter.

Speaking of Steven, there he stood at the door now. "Amethyst? Peridot?"

The two Gems sat up to face him. "Oh, hey Steven," Amethyst said. "Whatcha got there?"

Steven looked down at the bubbled object in his hands. "Oh, this? I found it in Lion's mane. Mom must have left it there-it is a Rose Quartz bubble after all. Have any idea what it might be?"

Amethyst crawled over to get a closer look, while Peridot, feeling extremely irrelevant to the scene whatsoever, stayed put and remained silent. Sorry, Peri.

"It looks like that gem-fixing thingy Rose was trying to make. She never figured it out, so I guess she bubbled it to save it for some point in the future when maybe she found an answer. I think she was trying to heal corrupted Gems, but I don't think it ever worked," Amethyst sighed.

 _That makes sense_ , Steven thought. _My mom did want to heal corrupted gems. Hmm... would it work on a shattered gem?_ He contemplated this to himself and decided if he could fix the small bubbled object, there would be no harm in trying to fix Pearl. But he didn't know the first thing about how his mother's device worked.

Amethyst's voice interrupted his thought. "Hey, while you're here Steven, I wanted to ask you if you could help me figure this out. I... Well, I'm trying to write a song, but I can't figure out the melody. Can you take a look at it?" She handed him a sheet of paper, onto which she had scribbled down the lyrics.

Steven read over the verses, then over again. "Amethyst... this is beautiful! I didn't know you could write like that!" He wiped a tear from his eye and leaned forward to embrace the purple Gem in a hug.

"Thank you, Steven," Amethyst whispered with a small smile. "Think you can find a melody?"

"Yeah, I can go get my ukulele. Just a sec."

A few moments later, he reappeared at the door, ukulele in hand. Amethyst let him in, and he started to hum a slow tune.  
The three small gems (Peridot was still there, and still felt somewhat irrelevant, sorry again Peri) lay on the floor in Amethyst's room, as Steven played the new song and the scene faded away, bringing you back into reality with the realization that this chapter is over.

 **AN: I can't tell if that ending was really stupid or really cool, but I'll leave it anyway. Hope you enjoyed. Sorry I didn't write an actual song for this chapter. I might at some point, but my own songwriting skills are no match for Steven's (and by extension Rebecca Sugar's). Also I have trouble getting inspired to write songs, even more so than I struggle getting inspired to write chapters.**

 **Well thats all i got. Pleasepleaseplease leave a review; they make me waayyy happier than they probably should :D!**

 **~Pikminsanity**


	5. Garnet

Chapter 5: Garnet

After the battle that shattered Pearl's gem, Garnet was able to keep herself together until they got home-just barely. The whole team was silent. In Garnet's mind, Ruby and Sapphire had conflicting responses to the current situation.

Ruby was furious toward Homeworld for destroying Pearl. But then again, of course they did. She was everything Pearls shouldn't have been. But that was why the Crystal Gems needed her. Ruby was going to avenge Pearl, somehow. Even though she got really mad at Pearl that one time with the whole Sardonyx incident, she knew how important Pearl was to the Crystal Gems.

Sapphire was instead upset with herself, taking the blame for not having foreseen the oncoming tragedy. She understood Homeworld's actions, knowing they were angry with the Crystal Gems for continuing to fight against them. If there was anyone to be mad at, she told herself and Ruby, it was her. She could have seen this, she could have prevented it. She blamed only herself for her teammate's death.

As soon as the Gems arrived on the warp pad at the temple, the gems went to their rooms (except Peridot, who went into the bathroom because a) she didn't have a room and b) she liked it in there).

Once the door closed behind them Ruby and Sapphire unfused almost immediately, as if they were trying to keep the others from knowing.

"Sapphire it's not your fault! It's Homeworld's damn fault, if anyone's! You know the way they are! It's a bunch of shit, and Homeworld can go die, dammit!"

"Ruby, keep your voice down if you're going to swear like that!" Sapphire whispered between sobs. "What if Steven heard that kind of language? And anyway, I could have stopped all this from ever happening in the first place. If only I had seen that giant-"

"You didn't know what kind of weapons and armies they had! You couldn't have! We haven't been there in nearly six millennia!" Ruby shouted. Not because she was angry with Sapphire, but because she was urgently trying to get her point across.

"I know, but even right then and there, in the moment, we could have stopped-"

"No we couldn't. Remember? We were helping Peridot," Ruby quieted her voice and attempted to calm her girlfriend.

"Y-yes, we were. I'm... sorry, Ruby. I can't change the past. I should just... let our situation be what it is."

Ruby smiled, tears in her eyes, and hugged Sapphire. The two remained there in silence for a moment, then Sapphire began to cry again. "Ruby... I miss her...!"

Ruby's own voice trembled with tears. "I know, Sapphy. I know... I do too!"

-A FEW DAYS LATER-

Steven had spent awhile studying the thingy Rose had tried to make, but to no avail. He figured if anyone knew how it worked aside from Rose herself, it might have been Pearl.

He actually had to stop himself from trying to find her room, having temporarily forgotten she wouldn't be there.

He decided to go find Garnet's instead. When he got there, he found exactly two things. Two Gems. Lying on the floor, snuggled close together, both asleep.

In this confusing and sad point in his life Steven had not expected this. But he held back a giggle, pulled out his phone, and opened up the camera. So this is why I couldn't find Garnet the other day... Slowly, quietly, determined to make no sound in an effort not to wake the two sleeping Gems, he crept around Ruby and Sapphire and took a couple of very adorable photos.

 _Oh, dang it!_ he thought. _The flash was on!_

As he expected, they began to move around and their eyes slowly opened.

"Umm... Oh, hey Steven..." Ruby mumbled. "Wait, Steven?! Were you watching us?!"

"Not for too long, I swear!" He finally let out a laugh. "Actually, I came by to ask you about this. Apparently my mom made it. She wanted to heal corrupted Gems, I guess? I'm trying to fix it... do either of you know how it works?" He held out the small device.

"Oh! Remember, she showed us!" Ruby said, reaching out gently to hold the device. "She asked us if it would work."

"Yes, she did. And we said we didn't know if it would. There had never been an antidote for Gem corruption before..." Sapphire said.

"Can you show me how it was supposed to work? Maybe that'll help me try to fix it," Steven said. "Wishful thinking, I suppose, but you never know."

"That's a good idea, Steven." Ruby smiled.

"See this part here, that looks like a cup?" Sapphire began explaining. "Rose's healing tears were placed in here. The gem would be in this slot here- then you twist this cord around it, flip this switch, and ideally the tears would target the part of a Gem that got corrupted. But it was often hard to find that part of the gem, because each different type of Gem is a different shape, and each corruption takes place in a different part of that shape."

"Do... Do you think I can still use my healing powers?" Steven asked.

"Probably, if you really focus..." Sapphire said, looking into the future. "Plenty of Gems abilities are dependent on the focus and stability of the user's mind. I'm sure you can do it, Steven," she smiled at him.

"Yeah! Focus your spit, Steven!" Ruby grinned.

Steven laughed. "Thanks, guys!"

They smiled as they watched him leave. "Hey Sapphy?" Ruby said. "We should probably re-fuse soon, shouldn't we?"

"Yes," Sapphire responded. In a flash of light Garnet reappeared once again. She smiled to herself and thought, _I wonder what Steven's doing with that device of Rose's._

Her question will be answered soon.

 **AN: In all honestly, Garnet is a really hard character for me to write. Ruby and Sapphire are easier for me, for some reason.**

 **Who knows what Steven's doing with his mom's scrapped experiment?! Not you? Ok, good.**

 **Next time: Peridot finally! (She felt _very irrelevant_ last chapter, if you remember.)**

 **~Pikminsanity**


	6. Peridot

Chapter 6- Peridot

Peridot thought she had already been aware of the very danger she was putting herself in by teaming up with the Crystal Gems. But that danger was made even more real to her with recent events. Peridot was afraid.

She thought that was all that bothered her. She thought she felt the way she did because she was fearful of meeting the same unfortunate end. But Peridot was not yet accustomed to feeling these, quite human, emotions. She was indeed afraid of being taken as Pearl had been. But what she felt, in its entirety, was grief.

She didn't understand why she was almost always thinking about Pearl-not Pearl's death, but _Pearl_ , the way she had been in life.

When she didn't understand something, Peridot still naturally turned to Steven for answers. But lately Steven had been very separated, isolated from the other Gems, often refusing to leave his room even for food. This made Peridot even more confused and worried than before. She decided to look for Garnet.

"...Garnet?" Peridot turned to look up at her recently re-fused teammate.

"Yes, Peridot?" Garnet responded calmly.

"I'm... I am concerned about Steven. He seems to have been... ignoring me..."

"It's okay. I'm sure he doesn't mean to," Garnet assured her. "He's experiencing the same grief that you, that all of us are experiencing. It's a natural response to loss."

"Oh." Peridot began to understand. Not entirely, but she was okay with it.

"Also, Steven's been busy with a... project of sorts. He found something that used to belong to Rose Quartz. He asked me about it. He's trying to fix it."

"What is he attempting to accomplish by doing so?"

"Rose Quartz originally designed the device to heal corrupted gems-"

"I thought that wasn't possible."

"It isn't, not yet at least. But Rose Quartz wanted to change that. She couldn't figure out how it would work, and stored it away thinking it couldn't, but maybe it can."

Peridot considered this for a moment. Maybe it could.

Later that day, Peridot went back to Amethyst's room to talk. A few minutes later Steven dashed in. "GUYS! I think I fixed it!"

"Whoa, what?!" Amethyst sat straight up. "How do you know?"

"It started glowing, and floating in the air, and then all the pieces snapped together!" Steven shouted excitedly.

"Really? It never did that for Rose..." Amethyst said.

"Wait, Steven," Peridot said. "You mean to say that you've repaired the device which supposedly heals corrupted gems?"

"Yeah! Should we go try it out?"

"You mean go to your bubble-basement?" Peridot shuddered, remembering the time she thought they would harvest her. She also remembered Steven reassuring her that she was safe here, but she was still hesitant.

"Don't worry Peridot, you'll be safe. You should come! It'll be cool," Steven said.

"Um... Fine. I'll go."

-A FEW MOMENTS LATER-

"Which one should we try, Amethyst?"

Amethyst searched the bubbles. "This one, maybe? Or... No, not that one though. And emdefinitely/em not this one... Here's one." She pulled down a bubble and handed it to Steven, who gently popped it and slid the gemstone into place. He focused on his power, trying to bring it into his spit, then licked his finger and placed it in the spot.

The device activated, began shaking and glowing, and then-!

...

A pause. It stopped in the air... then clattered to the floor.

"Did it work?" Steven said. He picked it up and removed the Gem, waiting for her to reform. Nothing happened.

As it turned out, the Gem inside was just as confused and scared.

Steven sighed and re-bubbled the Gem. "I guess it doesn't work after all."

"Unless..." Peridot said. "Allow me to look at that device, Steven."

Steven handed it to her. Peridot closely inspected its components and began to think quickly.

"This device will perform a different function," she stated clearly, standing up straight and holding it out.

"A different function?" Steven said.

"Affirmative."

"Do you think it could...?"

Peridot took a moment before she understood what he meant. She thought it over. "There is a chance."

Steven froze, eyes wide. " _I have to dosomethingrealquick_!" he shouted, then ran out of the room.

 **AN: *dramatic music*  
*dramatic music*  
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*dramatic music*  
*dramatic music*  
PS: many thanks to Xx-The-all-seeing-eye-xX  
Too many thanks  
You have drowned in my gratitude :D**


	7. Connie, Greg

Chapter 7

Part I: Connie

Connie hadn't known what had happened till she realized she hadn't seen Steven in over a week. She decided to drop by and see how he was doing. As she headed up the steps, she noticed that the house was unusually quiet.

Maybe no one was home. She knocked anyway, just to see, thinking if Steven wasn't home she'd come back later. Then an all-too-familiar voice rang out from within. "Oh, hey Connie!" Steven called through the door. He pulled it open and let her in. "Um... There's a couple things I should probably catch you up on." He took awhile to explain all of what had happened.

(Some minutes later)

"Wait, her gem was shattered?" Connie asked.

"Yeah... She can't come back." Steven looked down and sighed sadly as he thought back to that final moment Pearl's physical form disappeared from their sight for possibly forever.

"So, would that mean that's the Gem equivalent of... death?"

"Technically, yeah. We've all been taking time off to recover from the loss... It's been hard for all of us."

Connie couldn't believe it at first. Pearl was not only her instructor, her mentor, but also her friend. The last time she'd talked to Pearl, they'd run into each other on the beach and had a pleasant but brief conversation that had concluded with little more than a simple "see you later".

That couldn't be Connie's last words to Pearl forever! She wished she could go back, she had so much more to say. If only she had known they would end up in such an intense battle...

Steven's voice brought her back from her thoughts just before she began to tear up. "I've been working on something that could bring her back."

"Really?" That changed everything. Maybe there was hope. "Do you think it'll really work?"

"I don't know, but it can't hurt to try, can it?"

"That's right. I like the way you think, Steven," Connie smiled. "Oh, what time is it?! I have a violin lesson today..." She jumped up suddenly, glancing at the clock and picking up her things. "I need to go. Sorry I couldn't stay longer, Steven. Let me know if your gem-healing thing works!"

"Will do! Thanks, Connie!" Steven called, closing the door behind her.

Part II: Greg

It wasn't quite the same as when they lost Rose. When Rose died, it was so that they could have Steven. Greg missed Rose, of course, but he was happy to have his son.

This was different, though. Pearl's gem was shattered - she was _killed_ by Homeworld. Greg didn't really understand a lot of it, but he knew that Homeworld was still angry with the Crystal Gems for continuing to stop their plans. And sure, he admitted that he and Pearl weren't as close as, say, he and Rose were, but he still thought of her as a friend.

He visited Steven a couple of days after the battle, and was shocked and saddened to see the usually so cheerful boy absolutely depressed. Greg knew how close Steven had gotten to the Gems, and understood that Steven's reaction to this loss would be much deeper, much stronger, much more painful than his own. He felt sorry that the boy had to go through such a loss at such a young age.

A few days later, though, Steven visited Greg and showed him what he had been working on-a device to heal broken gems. "I'm not sure if it will work," Steven admitted, "but I'm going to try anyway."

"Should I... come with you and watch, or stay out of the way?" Greg wasn't quite sure whether he would get in the way of Steven's magic Gem business, or if he should be there if Pearl was revived.

"I think you should come," Steven said. "In case she does come back..."

"Okay, yeah! I'll come and watch this happen. I'm really proud of you, Steven. You've come so far already." Steven smiled, and they were on their way back to the temple.

AN: im making you wait. I didn't intend to make you wait that long but I quite like the suspense I'm building here.

I've planned out the next two chapters and an epilogue. Then we will be done.

Hmm, this chapter's kind of short. I may add onto it later, but really I'm just saying that to trick myself. We all know I won't, at leSt not soon.

Anyway, get really excited (or scared. Actually, be scared) for the next chapter. Yeah.

~Pikminsanity


	8. Revival?

Chapter 8: Resurrection

The Crystal Gems, Connie, and Greg circled around Steven, who held the gem-healing device in one hand, and a bubble in the other, which contained six shiny white Gem shards. _Pearl's shards._ Steven popped the bubble gently and pieced the shards gently into their round shape inside the device. He focused his mind, calmed his body, squeezed his eyes shut, and concentrated his energy on his healing powers. He put his spit onto the device and waited. The device began to float; the shards glowed. Everyone gazed wide-eyed in hope towards the healing device working its magic into those shards.

The device started to lower as the shards' glow faded. It landed gently in Steven's hand. He carefully removed the gem and looked over it carefully. "It-it worked! Not a scratch left!"

"It did?" Amethyst lunged forward to take a look for herself. "She's... Good as new."

She was barely able to finish her sentence when Pearl's gem began to glow and hover in the air again. An illuminating figure was projected from it, as it phased through each of her previous regenerations.

Finally, finally Pearl appeared, wearing a slightly different outfit but recognizably, undoubtedly, unbelievably... _their Pearl._

The moment she landed they all ran forward to embrace her, all with cries of "Pearl, you're back!"

Pearl didn't say anything. She wasn't quite sure what was going on.

"Pearl? Did you hear me?" Steven said. "I said, we missed you way too much. What was it like?"

Pearl looked around nervously, very confused. Then she asked, "Um... Where am I? Who are... you?"

A collective gasp sounded through the room. "Wait, Pearl... Don't you know who I am? I'm Steven! Don't you... don't you recognize me?" Steven tried to blink back tears, but one got away and spilled down his cheek.

"She... doesn't remember us..." Garnet whispered. "This will be a lot harder than we originally thought."

"What do we do?" Amethyst cried.

"What _can_ we do? She had thousands of years of memories. We can't recover every last thing," Peridot pointed out.

"There's got to be a way!" Steven sobbed. "There just _has_ to!"

Connie and Greg, who were standing off to the side, glanced at each other. "They'll figure it out, won't they?" Connie asked, concern audible in her voice.

"I'm not all that sure," Greg admitted. "I mean, I try not to get in the way of their magical Gem business, but I'm still worried. I just hope they can get her back somehow. Knowing them, they probably will... at some point." He knew he sounded very unsure. He _was_.

"I hope so," Connie sighed sadly.

 **\- THE NEXT DAY -**

Steven hadn't been able to show the newly revived Pearl how to get into her room in the Temple, so he let her stay in the living room overnight. The next morning, he began showing her some things she might remember, including but not limited to: the painting of Rose, one of Peridot's remaining robonoids (Peridot had actually rebuilt one just to mess around with in her spare time), Lion, Rose's sword, Connie sword-fighting, the drill they built to stop the Cluster, etc., none of which were able to trigger her memory back.

It wasn't until one afternoon when he was feeling rather musical that he decided to show her the rewritten version he wrote of their song "Strong in the Real Way". He still thought the word "parody" had too light-hearted a connotation for the song he wrote, but couldn't think of any other more accurate names. (AN: I continuously point this out because I too cannot find a synonym.)

He took a deep breath and began to sing, watching Pearl's reaction but having no knowledge of what was going on inside her head as she listened to him sing the following words.

 _Why did they have to go after you  
The battle was too intense..._

 _(Reread chapter 3 for full song.)_

 **AN: I'm back. For how long, who knows. Hopefully I can finish this story quickly because 1) the ending is happy and 2) I want to post another story that messes with your feels just like this one did. The thing is, it features my gemsona Morganite so I will probably have to post her backstory as well. I'm thinking I can just do that in a very long one-shot.**

 **Well, I hope you enjoyed. Next time, we'll see what exactly Pearl thought as Steven sang her the song he wrote from Chapter 3.**

 **~Pikminsanity**


	9. Restoration?

Chapter 9: Restoration

 _Please know you've inspired me_

 _You've come to be my rock, and when you talked_

It _lit a fire in me..._

Steven's voice choked with tears, remembering that first moment he realized Pearl was gone.

Pearl, though at first she wasn't sure what Steven's song was referring to, wiped her own tears from her eyes. As the song went on she began to understand the story he told. It seemed her gem had been broken during battle, according to the first verse. The last part of the song, though, seemed oddly familiar. But from where...?

Then it dawned on her. She remembered it! She had sung those words herself!

I want to inspire you, I want to be your rock and when I talk it lights a fire in you!

"Steven!" She cried. "I remember that song!"

"You do?!" Steven said. "Do you remember what we were doing that day?"

"I... No, I don't..." Pearl sighed.

"It's okay, Pearl. I'll tell you. The day before, we had gone on a mission to the communication hub, and so Amethyst and Garnet fused into Sugilite so they could destroy the hub. Well, I wanted to be strong like Sugilite so me and dad started a gym!"

"You mean 'dad and I', Steven."

"Yeah, yeah. Well, anyway you were singing this song, and afterwards Sugilite came back, and you had to fight her, and you won!"

"I did?"

"Yeah, you were amazing!"

"Aw, thank you, Steven." A turquoise blush grew on her face.

"Do you remember that now?" Steven asked hopefully.

"A-a little bit... Tell me about some more things we did."

"Okay, well... What about the time Garnet first formed? You were there for that."

"I was?"

"Yeah! Ruby and Sapphire were sent by Blue Diamond, and you and my mom came and when you were attacking, Ruby and Sapphire accidentally fused. They got in trouble with Blue Diamond for it but they escaped to Earth, and they fused again... and then Mom and you found Garnet and let her join the Crystal Gems!"

Steven began to recount stories from Pearl's life. He often asked Amethyst and Garnet for help explaining things. Nothing quite seemed to jog the rest of her memory, but she began to re-understand several of the basic stories that you all know and love.

Later that night, the gems met to discuss how they might go about recovering the rest of her many memories.

"Is there even a way to?" Peridot asked.

"I healed her gem, but it didn't bring back her memories. Do you think I should try healing her again?" Steven asked.

"Would that work?" Amethyst asked.

"It's... improbable," Peridot said.

"But not impossible," Garnet added.

"It would hurt to try," Steven said. "I mean, worst case scenario I get spit on her, ya know."

"True," Amethyst shrugged.

"I'm gonna go try it," Steven said, determined.

"Good luck..." the gems called.

"Hey Pearl?" Steven said. "Can I try something?"

"What is it, Steven?" Pearl asked.

He stepped closer. "Here, sit down and show me your gem."

"Um... Alright," Pearl said hesitantly, but obeyed.

Steven stood next to her, carefully licked his hand and placed it against Pearl's gem. He waited a moment.

"Steven, what are you doing?" Pearl asked.

"I know," he sighed disappointedly, "it's kind of unusual. But I wanted to see if I could heal your memory."

"What? I thought you lost your healing powers. Remember, with the geode?"

"Wait... You remember that?!" Steven shouted. He stood there with a surprised expression.

"Well, of course. It was when your father was staying here and..."

 _We never told her that story! She remembered it by herself!_ Steven thought. _What else does she remember?!_

"Pearl, do you remember what I did use to fix the geode?"

"Duct tape."

Steven was shocked. It worked! Right?!

"Did it work?! Tell me it worked! Tell me... umm... Tell me something about you and mom! Something you haven't told me before!"

Pearl began to tell a story about Rose. As she did, the other gems entered the room, surprised and relieved to see that Steven's plan had worked. Finally, _finally_ , they had their Pearl back. They joined Steven in listening to her story which my creative mind is too tired to make up, and surrounded her in a huge group hug when she finished.

It was the best night they'd had in a long, long time.

 **AN: You're welcome.**

 **My super depressing stories will have happy endings. This is me trying to make up for giving you terrible awful heartbreaking feels.**

 **Next chapter is called Reflection. It will feature "journal entry" type points of view from each of the Crystal Gems, including Pearl.**

 **~Pikminsanity**


End file.
